i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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