chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
