spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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