i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
