My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
