make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
