It's like God shit irony all over that family
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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