ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
