I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize