its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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