just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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