sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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