Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so explain again why im purple
no
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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