she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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