Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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