Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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