its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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