He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
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