Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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