I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My vagina is very pro this idea
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize