I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize