If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
