Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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