I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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