I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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