I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
