New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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