dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
