I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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