I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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