omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
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