So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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