how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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