were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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