you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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