i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
