Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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