remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
