I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
