You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
