drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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