I cockslap morals
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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