Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
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