so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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