Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I love having hate sex.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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