Who wears a wallet chain?!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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