You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize