I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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