It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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