I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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