Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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