I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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