I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
