The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
