Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize