How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize