I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Randomize
