there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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