I'm drive I can fine osifer
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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